You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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