PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
