Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
