aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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