i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
