Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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