I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
