I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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