Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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