Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
