I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
