is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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