Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
