I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
