Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
