only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
