Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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