So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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