Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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