p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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