Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have tasted many bathrooms
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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