shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
