I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
