How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
