He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize