Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
