Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
