Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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