So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
