I can tuck mytits in my pants
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
