look no pants
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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