I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
