I'm going to jail i love you
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
