I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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