Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
