Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
ttyl tear gas
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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