i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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