How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
