I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
