He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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