I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Pants are for mortals
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
