We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
