I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize