what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
