But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
