I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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