i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
