just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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