in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
