the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
