i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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