There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
