we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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