Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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