I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
