Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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