the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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