Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
